YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR DESTINY - IT’S UP TO YOU By Vincent Lyn

So as the country lifts the restrictions and people feel this great urgency to feel empowered and get their so-called life back to ‘normal’. Sorry to tell you there’s no normal. There never was and certainly won’t be. The sooner you accept that the easier you might have a chance of remaining with the living and getting on with your life. Remember the virus hasn’t just magically disappeared. Your immune system hasn’t changed. There still is no cure and there still is no vaccine. What has changed is that powerful lobbies and business and economic pressures have out-lobbied public health science and concerns for collective death.

Infectious disease expert: “Let’s be clear about one thing. I wear a mask to protect you. You wear a mask to protect me. That’s how it works, and it’s that simple! Without your mask you are telling me, and everyone around you that you don’t care about others. And that’s how we get through a pandemic.” Stan Schwartz, M.D.

One of the biggest hurdles for human beings is to change, to openly accept change and welcome it. We get stuck in a mode of complacency and become so belligerent even when the writing is on the wall. The sheeple will follow blindly down the same path knowing full well it’s time to step off the hamster wheel or as in this case the train wreck that’s coming and try and reevaluate their lives. Life is always a series of life’s lessons. I ask myself daily did I learn anything new today or something that will make my life better and the way I treat others. One of the hardest things about improving your life is remembering to practice what you’ve learned in a moment of temptation, frustration, or hardship. Anyone can follow a strategy as they read about it, but remembering to stick with it in the real world is tough and especially the world we are facing right now. For many Americans I bet there’s never been more hardship than now, and that goes for so many in the world.

The following is a little advice on how I’ve tried to live my life and hopefully it can make you decide how you want to live yours. If you’d rather continue down the garden path be my guest but if you’re willing to open your eyes then read on.

We live in an age where most of us in first world nations have had it pretty easy, instant access to food, clean water, and healthcare and it’s hard not to take things for granted. Have you ever noticed how a domesticated animal no longer has the urge to hunt? It begs for food and depends on the system that’s domesticating it, never fully reaching its potential. Much like domesticated animals our lives are way too comfortable. For me it wasn’t until I went to Uganda to help orphaned children. Seeing 10 year-old girls carrying 60lb Gerry cans from the nearest water-well to their homes some over a distance of one mile. I asked one of the girls if I could help and so I followed her carrying this Gerry can and though I was wearing good footwear and gloves it was no easy task having to gingerly balance myself over a treacherous muddy path with the African sun baking down on me. More than a few times I had to stop and rest, switching hands trying to find a better grip. Finally I got to their home and figured I had done a good deed only to see the girls merrily walk back and repeat this task over and over. It dawned on me just how damn spoiled and fortunate I was.

Comfort slows progress. If we live like tomorrow is guaranteed, we’ll struggle to overcome even the slightest adversity. Most people spend their lives caught in a loop that began during childhood. If there’s not a time in this generation’s history than right now why not take the proverbial ‘wheel’ and start making progress now.

We all must let go of our ego and become childlike in our thinking. Assume you know nothing. Everyone is so quick to think they have all the answers and that their way is the best. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Take our most trusted leaders, Doctors and epidemiologists the people we are supposed to look up to and yet they don’t necessarily have all the right answers. This we have seen in their estimations of the current pandemic.

Don’t try to change your environment — change your environment. There was a survey I read suggesting that 30% of people find more happiness in spending time with friends and family than anything else. However, our friends and family can be our biggest weight when making lifestyle changes. Imagine how challenging it is to get an entire group of people to question their beliefs, than it is to move to an environment where people are like-minded. This is one of the most difficult lessons in life to acknowledge early on.

Don’t spend time, invest it. We spend so much time thinking and planning. We don’t spend enough time taking action. Everyone seems to have the next great idea but rarely sees it through to fruition. We waste hours gossiping on the phone or on social media. We have pointless meetings with people we’ll never see again or ever meet and build collaborative friendships just to avoid having to do the hardest work on our own. We’re rewarded for being lazy. As a result, we waste a lot of time.

Don’t talk badly about others. Gossiping is one of humanities favorite pastimes. Who doesn’t like people watching’? I find observing people and animals to be one of the most interesting experiences. I’ve spent my life studying people’s habits and what makes them do the things they do. But it can become overwhelmingly negative if you’re ‘people watching’ with the wrong people. All the time spent being judgmental could be spent being productive. The only thing worse than learning something too late is being too stubborn to learn at all. Make the decision today to change your habits. Take note of these important lessons.

Time passes much more quickly than you think. If you don’t take care of your body early then it won’t take care of you later. I’ve spent my entire life trying to take care of both my physical and mental health and realize when I see people who haven’t the world becomes smaller each passing day, losing mobility, continence and sight. Friends and family are far more important than any other thing in your life. No hobby, interest, book, work, instrument is going to be as important as the people you spend time with as you get older. Any seeds you planted in the past, either good or bad, will bear fruit and affect the quality of your life as you get older, for better or for worse. Jealousy is a wasted emotion. People you hate are going to succeed. People you like are going to sometimes do better than you did. Kids are going to be smarter and quicker than you are. Accept it with grace.

That big house you had to have becomes a bigger and bigger burden, even if the mortgage is slowly paid off, and that goes for material items. The new car smell goes away in a few months, you can only wear one watch and these days everyone has a smart phone to tell the time. Don’t let your possessions own you. I have fallen into that trap headfirst. I loved sport cars, expensive watches and was a crazed audiophile, but now I’m a full-fledged minimalist. I am completely unencumbered by stuff. I mean how much stuff does one really need? Go take a good look in your garage, basement or attic?

And lastly you will regret the things you didn’t do far more than the things you did that were “wrong”. The girl or boy you didn’t kiss, the trip you didn’t take, the project you kept putting off, the time you could have helped someone. If you get the chance do it. You may never get the chance again.

“Remember one thing only: that it’s you-nobody else- who determines your destiny and decides your fate. Nobody else can be alive for you; nor can you be alive for anybody else.” -E.E. Cummings

And if you can’t change your destiny change your attitude!

Sifu Vincent Lyn